Proverbs 31:30

We are still here! I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I would like to just say we have been too busy for me to write but that's not the whole truth. I've been avoiding my blog and having to talk about my struggle and attitude of recent. Never could have I imagined how God would use this blog to not only keep family and friends connected with us but teach me so much about what it means to walk with him as I expose my weaknesses and a constant need of a Savior. So before I begin to explain my absent I just want to thank all of you who read this and thank you for letting me be real and honest with you.



My body has gone through many changes due to my CF and transplant and although I have excepted many of them I was not ready for what was in store for me this fall. Due to catching the swine flu this summer and the toll it took on my body I began to loose my once long, thick hair. I have always been thankful for my hair. I would always say it was the healthiest thing I had and if you asked any of my friends who cut my hair they would tell you they have NEVER known anyone that had such thick hair. Whatever pounds I was lacking on my body I made up for it with my hair. =) It began falling out in September but the doctors felt like it would stop as I regained my strength. However, so far that has not been the case. I spent most of last week in the hospital due to pneumonia and the continual stress on my body caused my hair to really come out. As I lay in bed during my hospital stay I could tell my hair was thinning a lot and I couldn't bare to look in the mirror, and as I fell into depression the Lord kept whispering Proverbs 31:30. "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." I did NOT want to hear that verse and I pushed away what the Lord was trying to say! I was angry, WHY?! After, all that I had gone through why couldn't have the Lord just let me keep one thing I treasured. I got out of the hospital Wednesday afternoon and I was so embarrassed and angry that I chose to not be with my family on Thanksgiving Day. I wanted to sleep and hide away and so Faith went over to my sister in-laws house and spent Thanksgiving with all of our family while my sweet husband stayed home with me.

Not only did I miss being with our family this Thanksgiving and being far from having a thankful heart for what I did have, I didn't want to see what God was so gently trying to help me see. The truth was He did care about every hair that fell from my head because He not only did He give me all that hair, He knows the number of them (Mt 10:30). Although that had been stripped, He thought I was still beautiful because I am still His child and He was using something in my life to help my heart become more like His. Because, like in Proverbs 31:30, He knows things in this life can be fleeting and He is faithful in helping me become the woman He talks about in this verse. I am far from being the Proverbs 31 woman but with tears and a surrendered heart I can honestly say I pray that maybe...... just maybe my willing heart and faithful Lord will help me become such a woman.

I am getting better from my pneumonia and I am in the midst of trying to get over a stomach bug too but with all that said I am doing better. So, what is my plan from here......well, tomorrow I am going with my mom to possibly find a wig. So, the next time you see a picture of me who knows what I'll look like. =) For all of those of you who know me well, you know it was a HUGE deal for me to start getting highlights, you could say I'm not a risk taker when it comes to my hair but NOW the possibilities of style and color are endless. Jason has always had a thing for red heads so maybe that's in the near future for me.....hmmm......who knows? =)

If you could keep us in your prayers this week as I try to get over this sickness and pack up my house because we could possibly be moving into our new house this weekend! Thank you and I hope your Thanksgiving Day was a great one!