We can't always connect the dots.........

But He does and has a purpose for every "dot", every season we go through. There have been many things in my life, like you I'm sure when you just want to ask, "Where are you going with this, Lord? Or why is this happening now?" I wanted to share some things during my stay in the hospital.

Of course, some questions that I wish I had the answers too are~

• Why did I catch the swine flu?


• Why must many of my trails be physical ones?


• Why did I have to go over a month without seeing my little one?


• But, the biggest question that continues to come to mind is, why did you let me live when so many others have passed away from this horrible flu?

To tell you the truth I don't know the answer to all of these questions, however these past few months have been one of the hardest things I've had to endure yet I experienced the Lord in a way I never have before.

My mother in-law (Mitzi) and my sister were taking care of me while Jason went back to TX for just a couple of days to get Faith and bring her to AL. During this time I struggled to keep fighting, I wrote on a paper (I was still on the ventilator and could not talk) to Mitzi to call Jason and tell him I couldn't keep going on. I had nothing left, my cup was empty and I felt like giving in to the enemies lies that I just couldn't make it anymore. I might have been ready to give in but the Lord was not done and He brought me an "angel" to encourage, strengthen and remind me how much hope I had in the midst of such a difficult time. My respiratory therapist, Monica became my "angel" in some of my darkest hours. I remember asking her after she had anointed me with oil and prayed and sang over me,"Monica, are you an angel" she laughed and smiled and just said, "I just share the message of hope and healing to anyone the Lord puts in my path, that is my gift, ministry". Well, Monica you were my angel and I thank you for sharing your faith and love with me.

I paged Monica several times when I just felt I needed a "sister" in Christ to help intercede for me as I struggled with draws from the high pain meds. She was always ready to pray and ask Jesus to bind up Satan's lies and that I would cling to only Him and that I am set FREE.

"By His wounds I am healed" Isaiah 53:5

After Monica left, I came into a time of worship that I had never really experienced before. As tears ran down my face, I sang and spoke aloud the word of God. I spent that time asking for forgiveness, strength, joy, hope and thanking Him for His grace and that even though I was so weak physically and emotionally He was holding me with much love and compassion. From that moment of giving whatever left I had to the Lord and not holding back, a peace fell over me. The enemy was still trying to whisper those lies to me but NOW I was holding onto the word of God and putting on the armor of God. Satan had no power and the Lord brought "light" and victory in that hospital room that day. There is power in SPEAKING ALOUD the word of God and I'm thankful for Him bringing me to a point where I could say again," Your grace is sufficient for me, for your power is made perfect in my weakness". 2 Corinthians 12:9

So I might not be able to answer all the questions I have but through it all I, the Lord taught me how to praise Him again through the valleys and say,"Lord, I don't like this and it hurts but YET I will still praise you!" For whatever reason the Lord spared my life I want to use it to honor Him and do what He still has planned for me. Thank you Lord, for using a broken vessel like mine.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

"Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. FREE yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughters of Zion. Isaiah 52:2

So what "chains" are you holding onto? What is keeping you from allowing God to set you FREE. He has already done that we just have to humble ourselves and receive it.

It's good to be Home....

Just wanted to let everyone know we made it home, tired and in shock at how much we had acquired during our stay in AL. But mostly over whelmed with thankfulness. I'm feeling good just "trying" to take it slow because I'm still weak. My to do list seems endless but then again when is life not like that. I wanted to show a picture of the BIG project we are tackling right now......our new home! Since I was in the hospital for several months we haven't made many decisions and now it's coming down to the wire. I love how the house is looking and I'll be posting more pictures when it gets painted and more progress is done. It looks like we will be moving in around December (Yea, right before the holidays)! If you are interested in looking at the neighborhood we will be moving into this is the website. Vintage Township~ http://vintagetownship.com/home.asp. It's one of a kind and very different for west TX. Yet, we love it and it reminds us of the good old south. (Plus I think we will have the biggest garage in the neighborhood.........Jason is pretty proud of that)!

There's no place like HOME!

Yes, we are officially being released to head back to TX! We went to clinic today and my kidney function was down (which is good) quite a bit from when I was in the hospital and my x-ray looks ten times better! The doctors and nurses are in amazement at how well I have recovered and all I can say is, "Praise the Lord, I am still here because of his grace and the many prayers that have gone up for us"! You would think I'm an emotional mess because tears of joy seem to be never far from my eyes. After 12 weeks in the hospital, it's very hard to put into words the over whelming joy I have not just for me but for my family to be going home together.

I had to share this quick story about Faith that I so wish I could have caught on tape. I was released from the hospital Friday evening and when Jason and I walked into the Town House, Faith ran up to me with the biggest smile and said," Oh mama.... you are done with the hospital"! She continued to hug me and repeat that I WAS done with the hospital and that we can go home and of course see Maggie (our bull dog). As you might imagine it took me a while to dry my eyes and just stand in awe of how amazing and gracious our God is.

Amazing grace has a new meaning for me in this season of my life; I was lost and now I am found, I was blind but now I see...........AMAZING GRACE!

We plan on leaving tomorrow morning. My dad is coming out with his big home RV so we can go home in comfort, another huge blessing!

*You can scroll down to the bottom of the blog and turn off the back ground music to listen to the "Amazing Grace" song.

Freedom!!!

Well, I am being released today (at least to the Town House)! My heart just leaps at the thought of getting out of the hospital after a 10 week stay and near death experience. We have to go to Clinic on Wednesday and if everything stays well then we can make our journey back HOME! It's hard to describe my joy because it is just too every whelming! The Lord brought me back from death and though I still have a ways to go with my rehab and building my strength, I feel I have a new hope. My mother in-law mentioned to me that I forgot to post about them taking my trach out a couple of days ago. So I am trach, IV, and the many lines free! I have much to talk about what happened the past few days but I will write soon, just wanted everyone to know we are headed out and THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all your prayers and support. It's hard for me to hold back my tears from the long journey the Lord graciously brought me. Praise His name!