This title is from a movie and one of my husbands favorite actors of all time (Clint Eastwood). Anyway, I thought it fit well for what these past 6 weeks have been like.
The Good~ The Lord saved my life. Many nurses have told me they thought I wasn't going to make it. And my kidneys are doing better, not great but good enough that I don't have to do dialysis right now!
(who redeems your life from the pit. Psalm 103:4)
The Bad~ I did catch the swine flu and so did the rest of my family. I was feeling great and I felt like things were smoothing out and then BAM I got knocked down. I almost feel like I'm starting over with the exception of being on the ventilator this long.
(Why are you downcast, O my soul? Put our hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior, and my God. Psalm 42:5)
The Ugly~ My attitude has been anything but pretty. I am tired of being in bed(been laying on my back mostly for 6 weeks) I was tired of hurting, getting poked, not being able to talk (because of the vent) weak and being away from my baby girl for a whole month. Jason drove to TX and made some decisions on our new house and picked up Faith and my mom.While he was away Callie and my mother in-law (Mitzi) were staying with me. At one point last week I told Mitzi to call Jason and tell him I just couldn't keep going. I was also thinking about discontinuing my blog. I was falling into a deep depression. I want to be honest with you about the not so pleasant things.
(You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the people. Psalm 77:14)
To wrap this up I could not have made it without the Lord and I'm thankful he still works through my weaknesses like Moses, Jacob, Peter and Paul. I want to THANK YOU too for your faithfulness in keeping me and my family in your prayers. THANK YOU also for the many cards and gifts, that always brightens my day.
*I am making some progress though, I got up and walked around the nurses station today for the first time in 6 weeks. I'm weak but I'm getting stronger, I've had re-learn to walk and do your normal daily things just because my body has just been laying in a bed for so long and when they put me in a deep sleep (slept through most of August) I had LOTS of dreams that seemed VERY real. When I woke up I was confused about some things. I had to sort out what was real and what was only a dream. It was hard to communicate with anybody because of the vent (which I still do, I do lots of writing). I will some time share the crazy dreams I had, what a journey that was. It was like my mind was putting reality and fantasies together.
Anyway, sorry this is a long post but I felt up to writing today so I thought I better do it while I'm feeling pretty good. Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense, I still feel like my mind is a little fogging sometimes from all the meds (at least that's what I'm blaming in on). I'll try to update whenever I can. Thanks again for everything!
9 comments:
Em, so good to hear from you and that you at least feel well enough to fill us in. I am praying the rehab goes fast and you feel better everyday.
I hope the depression lifts, I can imagine how all of this could get old but you are very worth it and so many people need you.
We love you and are glad you are up and around some and know that will get more and more as the days pass. We love you , susan and wes
sweet emily, it is so good to hear some words from you, and it really gives me a window into your heart and how to continue praying for you. as always, thank you for your honesty. Nothing is impossible with God, and you will pull through this time in your life! Can't wait to introduce Levi to you!
So good to hear your sweet voice again! Gonna hopefully come see you this week. Sounds like your gonna get to see your sweet baby this week too-YEA!! Love you and will continue praying.
Our precious friend Em....sooo good to hear your words! Keep fighting the fight...you are doing fantastic! We are all cheering you on and praying for you each day!
Love you lots!
Kelly
Hi Emily!
It's wonderful to hear from you. I've been keeping up with you through Mimi Johnson! Just wanted to remind you that you are still continuously in our prayers and we love you lots.
Ollie, Phyllis and famiy
It makes perfect sense! I'm so thankful to see YOU writing!! Glad you are making progress!!! You are a fighter...stay strong in the Lord and he will guide you through!
Emily,
So happy to see that you are writing and are updating your blog. I check it at least 3 or 4 times a week. Thank you for not giving up. I hope your depression gets better, I know its hard. I haven't been where you are but I did have depression (pp) after Jordan was born. I can tell you, that is some of the "fog" you are feeling. Depression does things to your mind and body that you would not believe! Are you taking any meds for that?
When you are feeling up to it, I'd love to come see you. In the meantime, chin up girl! God has a purpose!
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, distress, or famine, or nackedness or peril, or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for slaughter." Yet in all these things we (YOU) are more than CONQUERORS through him who loved us. Romans 8:35-37
Everytime you feel down please know that you are continuosly lifting everyone else up. God has given you a sweet gentle gift that touches our hearts everytime you type. We all love you dearly.
It is so awesome to hear you are making such progress and whether it be "the good, the bad or the ugly" it's just nice to hear from you and know that you are still fighting! God is Good! Love The Harrelsons
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