A good place to start....

Hmmm, either the Lord in some way (which I can't imagine) finds me faithful and so I continue in these physical trails OR I'm not learning my lesson and so I have to re-take the class over and over again. Whatever the reason my be, I'm continuing in this season or valley of sickness and it's been difficult to "praise the Lord". Although I've never been strong physically, the Lord has always provided a strong fighter in me mentally and I think that has helped me get through many things. When I had the H1N1 flu this summer the doctors and nurses were very surprised at how much sedation I needed to keep me in a "coma" to be still. But, they reassured my husband that was also a good thing because I was fighting. Although it's been very difficult physically I feel like Satan has attacked me mentally this round and more then I would like to admit I have let him whisper lies of defeat. I've tried to write down the blessings in my life during the hard times so I can focus on that instead but I have not done it this time around but Emily T. reminded me that it would be a good place to start for my mind and heart.


Romans 12:21 ~ Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

I do believe speaking and writing out the word of God and the blessings He has given you is more powerful then just thinking it. You are putting into action overcoming evil with good. So here is a beginning list of what I'm thankful for. Maybe, you are having a tough month, year or Christmas season I encourage you to write your blessings either on your own or on my comment page so you can SEE there is always beauty even in the dessert.

I'm thankful for~
*My husband who is so patient with me and tenderly loves me through every season we have gone through.
*My daughter who gives me a reason to smile when I can't seem to find one. Her sweet voice when she tells me I'm going to get better and that she loves me gives me strength to fight for her
*All of my family and friends who pray for me, are patient with me when I'm not fun to be around and help Jason and I in so many ways!
*Our new house that I'm looking forward to living in
*The good conversations I have had with my brother, Tyler while I've been in the hospital. I'm not sure if we would have had them other wise.
*Not dealing with rejection right now
*My new red wig, hehe
*The Lord prolonging my life this long and how He has been able to use my CF to help others.
*My dear, sweet friend Emily.....my angel who knows me so well and for some reason still loves me and stands by me through thick and thin.
*My family who cheer me on and give so much to me
*The Lord giving me new lungs to live with
*The Lord never giving up on me
*and to all of you who follow our journey through this blog. You prayers and encouragement are so uplifting to us.

Tuesday update

Well, I don't have a lot to report. It doesn't look like rejection at this time but they are sending the reports to another lab to make sure. They believe it is a pseudomonas, pneumonia. For those of you who know my CF history pseudomonas is the main problem I had. I could never fully get rid of it and it caused much scare tissue. Anyway, I don't really know how this all plays out with my new lungs but it definitely is growing in my lungs and causing pain, low oxygen and coughing. I am on IV antibiotics right now but as of right now they don't seem to be doing very much in helping knock this out. It's been a frustrating and draining time for the both of us. My body is worn out and at times I don't know just how much more it can take but like we have seen before God can still do miracles.

I'll update anything new as we hear.

Back to the hospital we go....

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update. I was admitted back into the hospital on Friday due to coughing and low oxygen. The doctor did a bronchoscopy on me yesterday but we probably won't know the results till Monday or sometime this week. My transplant doctors seem to think it's some kind of infection however my doctor here thinks it might be rejection. They have started me on 3 antibiotics but it's too early to really tell if they are working or not.

Jason and friends and family moved most of our stuff into the new house on Friday, which was nice to get done. Our holidays never seem to be normal or easy and this year is proving to be no different. I know it's a small thing but I haven't been able to put up my Christmas stuff or go buy a tree this year because we were trying to get moved in and now with me being in the hospital I'm not sure if it will get done. I love doing Christmas things with Faith so it's been hard. As always I pray that this is not my last Christmas either. There has been a lot going on I think we are all ready for a season of rest.

Well, I will give an update as we get them. We appreciate your prayers......

*I shared this story on my facebook but I thought I would go ahead and tell it again for those who are not on facebook. It's fun to see Faith grow in her understanding of things and have more in depth conversations with her. However, I'm not always ready for what may come out of that little mouth.............. We were rushing around trying to get out the door and Faith was not obeying and moving at the speed of a snail and I lost it and snapped at her. As we drove to our destination, I was frustrated with myself for snapping at her and I knew I needed to make amends. I very calmly apologized and waited for her response.......and this is what I got.

Faith: "I not talking to you.......you need to go in time out!" Though she was probably right I needed to take a time out, her response caught me off guard and it was hard not to laugh.

Oh my........RED!

Yep, you guessed it........I am now a red head! I never thought I would change my hair color but as I'm finding out life has lots of unexpected turns. My mom and I went last week to the wig store and when we got there she asked me what style or color I was thinking. When I told her I wanted to see what red would look like she was quite shocked and I could tell she thought I was a little crazy BUT when I tried one on she changed her tune very quickly. It was even more interesting when I tried on a blonde one and we both thought it washed me out and that the red really looked better with my skin color and eyes. With my new do, I thought we should head over to the CFA and see if my husband noticed me. When we pulled up to the store, he was standing out in the parking lot and so Faith, my mom and I started walking toward him. He looked at me and quickly turned around but after hearing Faith say, "daddy! daddy!" he turned around again and you could see he was confused to see his daughter...... but with a red haired lady. It didn't take him too long to figure out his daughter had not been kidnapped by a strange woman and he got a big smile and kept saying, "wow....oh my goodness......wow.....you look so great.....I can't believe you really went red!" (If you remember from my last post Jason has always liked red heads so I probably never would have done it if it weren't for him) =)

So, for the rest of the day I enjoyed showing off my new do. I gave my sister in-law, Christie, quite a shock as I walked into her house and she thought, "who is this strange woman just walking into my house!" It's been quite humorous walking up to my family and friends not acting like anything is different and they looking at me like I'm some stranger that knows them but they don't have a clue who this person is. I about gave my brother a heart-attack when he walked into my house and I was cleaning dishes and all he saw was me from behind. He said he had to make sure he was in the right house or confront some stranger in my house. Over all I think most people like it and I have really enjoyed it. So, if my hair comes back maybe I will have to turn it red. I told Jason the red unfortunately matches my temper better then blonde so maybe I was suppose to be a red head all along. ;)

*We have had some unexpected problems come up with the house so we weren't able to close on Monday but hopefully we will this week and move maybe over this weekend. I'm so ready to get in so I can put up our Christmas stuff. I'll try to get a picture of it up so you can see how it looks now!

Proverbs 31:30

We are still here! I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I would like to just say we have been too busy for me to write but that's not the whole truth. I've been avoiding my blog and having to talk about my struggle and attitude of recent. Never could have I imagined how God would use this blog to not only keep family and friends connected with us but teach me so much about what it means to walk with him as I expose my weaknesses and a constant need of a Savior. So before I begin to explain my absent I just want to thank all of you who read this and thank you for letting me be real and honest with you.



My body has gone through many changes due to my CF and transplant and although I have excepted many of them I was not ready for what was in store for me this fall. Due to catching the swine flu this summer and the toll it took on my body I began to loose my once long, thick hair. I have always been thankful for my hair. I would always say it was the healthiest thing I had and if you asked any of my friends who cut my hair they would tell you they have NEVER known anyone that had such thick hair. Whatever pounds I was lacking on my body I made up for it with my hair. =) It began falling out in September but the doctors felt like it would stop as I regained my strength. However, so far that has not been the case. I spent most of last week in the hospital due to pneumonia and the continual stress on my body caused my hair to really come out. As I lay in bed during my hospital stay I could tell my hair was thinning a lot and I couldn't bare to look in the mirror, and as I fell into depression the Lord kept whispering Proverbs 31:30. "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." I did NOT want to hear that verse and I pushed away what the Lord was trying to say! I was angry, WHY?! After, all that I had gone through why couldn't have the Lord just let me keep one thing I treasured. I got out of the hospital Wednesday afternoon and I was so embarrassed and angry that I chose to not be with my family on Thanksgiving Day. I wanted to sleep and hide away and so Faith went over to my sister in-laws house and spent Thanksgiving with all of our family while my sweet husband stayed home with me.

Not only did I miss being with our family this Thanksgiving and being far from having a thankful heart for what I did have, I didn't want to see what God was so gently trying to help me see. The truth was He did care about every hair that fell from my head because He not only did He give me all that hair, He knows the number of them (Mt 10:30). Although that had been stripped, He thought I was still beautiful because I am still His child and He was using something in my life to help my heart become more like His. Because, like in Proverbs 31:30, He knows things in this life can be fleeting and He is faithful in helping me become the woman He talks about in this verse. I am far from being the Proverbs 31 woman but with tears and a surrendered heart I can honestly say I pray that maybe...... just maybe my willing heart and faithful Lord will help me become such a woman.

I am getting better from my pneumonia and I am in the midst of trying to get over a stomach bug too but with all that said I am doing better. So, what is my plan from here......well, tomorrow I am going with my mom to possibly find a wig. So, the next time you see a picture of me who knows what I'll look like. =) For all of those of you who know me well, you know it was a HUGE deal for me to start getting highlights, you could say I'm not a risk taker when it comes to my hair but NOW the possibilities of style and color are endless. Jason has always had a thing for red heads so maybe that's in the near future for me.....hmmm......who knows? =)

If you could keep us in your prayers this week as I try to get over this sickness and pack up my house because we could possibly be moving into our new house this weekend! Thank you and I hope your Thanksgiving Day was a great one!

Princess Faith

Well Princess Faith finally had her princess party that she has been waiting for. We bought her a Cinderella dress for her birthday and if we let her I think she would wear it everyday. She puts it on and says," Oh wow, I look beautiful!" And for the past few weeks she tells me that she needs to go to the ball, so for her party we rented a big princess castle jumper. She thought that was pretty special.

Princess Faith

Beautiful princesses~ Georgia (Sissy), Marin & Faith OR

should I say Snow White and 2 Cinderellas

She loved her castle cake with all the Disney princesses

It's hard to believe my little one is 3 years old already!!! My how time flies by so fast!

Princess Bike from Emily Mulkey on Vimeo.

Health update~

I'm doing pretty well. My strength is coming back and I've been able to gain some weight back. When I get tired I have to remind myself that I'm still recovering. I've been able to get back into my Teen Moms group, which I have missed. The next month or so should be a little crazy as we finish up the house and then hopefully be moving the beginning of December. We finally picked the color for the house and thank goodness it turned out great! I'll be posting some pictures up soon. Hope all is well with you during this fall season!

We can't always connect the dots.........

But He does and has a purpose for every "dot", every season we go through. There have been many things in my life, like you I'm sure when you just want to ask, "Where are you going with this, Lord? Or why is this happening now?" I wanted to share some things during my stay in the hospital.

Of course, some questions that I wish I had the answers too are~

• Why did I catch the swine flu?


• Why must many of my trails be physical ones?


• Why did I have to go over a month without seeing my little one?


• But, the biggest question that continues to come to mind is, why did you let me live when so many others have passed away from this horrible flu?

To tell you the truth I don't know the answer to all of these questions, however these past few months have been one of the hardest things I've had to endure yet I experienced the Lord in a way I never have before.

My mother in-law (Mitzi) and my sister were taking care of me while Jason went back to TX for just a couple of days to get Faith and bring her to AL. During this time I struggled to keep fighting, I wrote on a paper (I was still on the ventilator and could not talk) to Mitzi to call Jason and tell him I couldn't keep going on. I had nothing left, my cup was empty and I felt like giving in to the enemies lies that I just couldn't make it anymore. I might have been ready to give in but the Lord was not done and He brought me an "angel" to encourage, strengthen and remind me how much hope I had in the midst of such a difficult time. My respiratory therapist, Monica became my "angel" in some of my darkest hours. I remember asking her after she had anointed me with oil and prayed and sang over me,"Monica, are you an angel" she laughed and smiled and just said, "I just share the message of hope and healing to anyone the Lord puts in my path, that is my gift, ministry". Well, Monica you were my angel and I thank you for sharing your faith and love with me.

I paged Monica several times when I just felt I needed a "sister" in Christ to help intercede for me as I struggled with draws from the high pain meds. She was always ready to pray and ask Jesus to bind up Satan's lies and that I would cling to only Him and that I am set FREE.

"By His wounds I am healed" Isaiah 53:5

After Monica left, I came into a time of worship that I had never really experienced before. As tears ran down my face, I sang and spoke aloud the word of God. I spent that time asking for forgiveness, strength, joy, hope and thanking Him for His grace and that even though I was so weak physically and emotionally He was holding me with much love and compassion. From that moment of giving whatever left I had to the Lord and not holding back, a peace fell over me. The enemy was still trying to whisper those lies to me but NOW I was holding onto the word of God and putting on the armor of God. Satan had no power and the Lord brought "light" and victory in that hospital room that day. There is power in SPEAKING ALOUD the word of God and I'm thankful for Him bringing me to a point where I could say again," Your grace is sufficient for me, for your power is made perfect in my weakness". 2 Corinthians 12:9

So I might not be able to answer all the questions I have but through it all I, the Lord taught me how to praise Him again through the valleys and say,"Lord, I don't like this and it hurts but YET I will still praise you!" For whatever reason the Lord spared my life I want to use it to honor Him and do what He still has planned for me. Thank you Lord, for using a broken vessel like mine.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

"Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. FREE yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughters of Zion. Isaiah 52:2

So what "chains" are you holding onto? What is keeping you from allowing God to set you FREE. He has already done that we just have to humble ourselves and receive it.

It's good to be Home....

Just wanted to let everyone know we made it home, tired and in shock at how much we had acquired during our stay in AL. But mostly over whelmed with thankfulness. I'm feeling good just "trying" to take it slow because I'm still weak. My to do list seems endless but then again when is life not like that. I wanted to show a picture of the BIG project we are tackling right now......our new home! Since I was in the hospital for several months we haven't made many decisions and now it's coming down to the wire. I love how the house is looking and I'll be posting more pictures when it gets painted and more progress is done. It looks like we will be moving in around December (Yea, right before the holidays)! If you are interested in looking at the neighborhood we will be moving into this is the website. Vintage Township~ http://vintagetownship.com/home.asp. It's one of a kind and very different for west TX. Yet, we love it and it reminds us of the good old south. (Plus I think we will have the biggest garage in the neighborhood.........Jason is pretty proud of that)!

There's no place like HOME!

Yes, we are officially being released to head back to TX! We went to clinic today and my kidney function was down (which is good) quite a bit from when I was in the hospital and my x-ray looks ten times better! The doctors and nurses are in amazement at how well I have recovered and all I can say is, "Praise the Lord, I am still here because of his grace and the many prayers that have gone up for us"! You would think I'm an emotional mess because tears of joy seem to be never far from my eyes. After 12 weeks in the hospital, it's very hard to put into words the over whelming joy I have not just for me but for my family to be going home together.

I had to share this quick story about Faith that I so wish I could have caught on tape. I was released from the hospital Friday evening and when Jason and I walked into the Town House, Faith ran up to me with the biggest smile and said," Oh mama.... you are done with the hospital"! She continued to hug me and repeat that I WAS done with the hospital and that we can go home and of course see Maggie (our bull dog). As you might imagine it took me a while to dry my eyes and just stand in awe of how amazing and gracious our God is.

Amazing grace has a new meaning for me in this season of my life; I was lost and now I am found, I was blind but now I see...........AMAZING GRACE!

We plan on leaving tomorrow morning. My dad is coming out with his big home RV so we can go home in comfort, another huge blessing!

*You can scroll down to the bottom of the blog and turn off the back ground music to listen to the "Amazing Grace" song.

Freedom!!!

Well, I am being released today (at least to the Town House)! My heart just leaps at the thought of getting out of the hospital after a 10 week stay and near death experience. We have to go to Clinic on Wednesday and if everything stays well then we can make our journey back HOME! It's hard to describe my joy because it is just too every whelming! The Lord brought me back from death and though I still have a ways to go with my rehab and building my strength, I feel I have a new hope. My mother in-law mentioned to me that I forgot to post about them taking my trach out a couple of days ago. So I am trach, IV, and the many lines free! I have much to talk about what happened the past few days but I will write soon, just wanted everyone to know we are headed out and THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all your prayers and support. It's hard for me to hold back my tears from the long journey the Lord graciously brought me. Praise His name!